As you probably know, it happened. We welcomed Jack Joseph Morgan into the hospital on Monday August 30th at 1:10 p.m. I'm sure that some of you have your own story as to how the birth of your first child unfolded - here is our story from my perspective. Please allow me the indulgence of including more detail than I usually do - I think it is important to write as much of this down as possible.

The odd thing about waiting for a child to come is that it could come at any time. We had heard stories of babies arriving a month early and babies coming a week late. Sometimes first-time parents went to the hospital when the baby wasn't coming while others left too late. It seemed that the only certainty was uncertainty.

Our due date was September 1st and the best guesses of the doctors predicted that we would not go late. It was just after 11 p.m. on Sunday night and we had just finished watching Mad Men. I was finishing up my drink and we were about to head off to bed. I was really tired that night because I had been out in the sun for much of the day resurfacing the asphalt apron at the end of the driveway. It had been an abnormally warm few days in Buffalo and more hot weather (90+) was anticipated for the coming week.

Out of nowhere Rebecca said "Oh my God. I think my water just broke". For some reason I was stunned for a second or two - I wasn't quite sure what that meant. I remembered from class that if the water broke that they baby would have to be born within a certain amount of time because the amniotic sac was no longer protecting the baby. Rebecca calmly placed a call to the doctor's answering service and the doctor immediately called back. It was go time.

There was a moment where we just kind of looked at each other. It was actually happening and it was a little scary. We had spent the better part of two years trying to make this happen and the dress rehearsal was over. Rebecca admitted that she was really really nervous - how could she not be? I was more nervous that we were both exhausted and only at the very beginning of what was to be a really long new day.

The drive to the hospital was amazingly light. I think we were both trying to stay calm and keep our wits about us. We had been to the hospital a couple of times so we had a good idea of where we were going. The nice thing about having called the doctor is that we were already "pre-registered". As an aside, I couldn't help but think of the genius Carlin bit on our over-use of certain words. We weren't pre-registered, we were just registered. You don't pre-board a plane, you just board it. I know, I shouldn't be thinking those kinds of things at that time but that is an example of what floats around in my noggin.

We were brought to a birthing room and told to settle in. Even though her water broke she had not had any real contractions. The nurses took a quick look and made a guess that we would have our boy by noon the next day. It was a shade after midnight at this point so that didn't seem unreasonable. This is the first of many parts of the story where you are free to remark "easy for you to say - you're not the one doing the work here". Trust me, I know.

It was at this point that we had to endure what seemed like two hours of paperwork and other procedural issues. It kind of reminded me of when you call your bank and you have to enter a bunch of information before you talk to a live person and then you end up repeating it all anyway. There was one notable event in all of this misery. One of the nurses warned us that they were going to ask if we wanted to start the hep B shots in the hospital - apparently this is the latest recommendation of the AMA. She then went on to say that she didn't trust these shots and that if it weren't for her husband she wouldn't have gotten the shots for her kids. As you might expect, this bothered me on several levels. This women was an RN, not a doctor. I'm sure she is qualified to do what she does but she had no business commenting on something like this. When I pressed her on why she thought this way she had no good reason other than "they just scared her". These vaccines are the reason why so many diseases that used to be deadly are now items of the past. Thanks, Jenny McCarthy (see a fascinating website on this here). We found that this kind of thinking ("we know better than the scientists and doctors") seemed to be prevalent in several nurses that we encountered.

And then... waiting. And more waiting. Rebecca's contractions started to kick in and her discomfort was growing. I was in some kind of chair that also reclined but it was about as comfortable as laying on the floor. I slept for a couple of hours but it didn't seem like more than ten minutes. The room was about sixty five degrees all night - the same nurse that had the amazing insight into vaccines didn't know how to work the thermostat. Her best advice was to "keep working the dials" as she didn't know what dial controlled the temp.

By mid morning Rebecca's pain increased to the point where it was time to get the epidural. I left the room for a while (hospital rules) and visited with my in-laws. They had come down to the hospital even though we had told them it was going to be a while. I didn't blame them at all - they were as excited as any of us. When I went back to the room Rebecca's contractions had slowed down. After hanging around for a couple more hours they told us that it was going to be a while. We all agreed that it would probably be a good time to head down to the caf with grandma and grandpa.

I was just finishing lunch when my phone rang. It was Rebecca. To my surprise, she was on the edge of labor even though just twenty minutes before she was nowhere near labor. I flew down the hall and hit the elevator. When I arrived at the room it seemed like there was a party going on as a bunch of new faces had showed up on the scene.

During the next forty five minutes I felt as useless as I had ever felt in my life. I had long ago decided that I really wanted no part of the delivery process. I just figured that I would sit next to Rebecca and hold her hand and try to comfort her in any way that I could. As the events unfolded it became evident that she was in good hands and the whole delivery really seemed like a team effort. The hand holding didn't work either - the hospital bed had huge side panels. It probably wouldn't have mattered anyway as she had to have her hands behind her knees.

The whole room was rather surreal - it was almost like a slow motion scene in a movie where the camera pans across the various events going on in the room while I was the helpless/useless bystander in the corner. I have to admit to something that I probably shouldn't. For some strange reason my eyes kept going back to the tv. Top Gun was playing and that really gay volleyball scene was going on when this whole thing started. I thought to myself "my son can't be born during this homo-erotic movie". However, I really couldn't grab the clicker in the middle of childbirth. I may not be the brightest bulb but I know that it would have been a bad idea to start scrolling through the tv guide while asking the doctor what channel was ESPN.

And then it happened - I heard a baby crying. In case you are wondering, no, I wanted no part of using scissors at that point in time. There had to be someone more qualified than me to perform this duty. Besides, I've never understood the symbolism in this event. I'm freeing this boy from his mother's loving womb? Please. It seems that people do this just to say that they joined the "I cut my kid's umbilical cord" club. They placed the boy and Rebecca's chest and we had our first moment in our new family. Unfortunately it didn't last long - they needed to tend to the boy.

So for the next fifteen minutes or so we just made small talk. They cleaned up Rebecca for a while and I just sat there playing the same role that I had been playing all afternoon (I excelled at it, if I do say so myself). And then they handed me my boy. It really was a great moment - he just sat there and stared at me with those big eyes. I held him for about fifteen minutes as there were some minor complications with my wife. I would have to say that if it weren't for the previous forty five minutes of guilt, these fifteen minutes would have been the guiltiest moments that I can recall. Rebecca had just spent nine months lugging this bowling ball around and then passing it through her body yet I get to hold him first (and for quite a while)? I could have held him all day but I have to admit that I was relieved when she finally got to hold him.

I retrieved Grandma and Grandpa from the waiting room and they joined the happiness. We spent the next half hour together - it seemed to pass in an instant. The party was broken up when they took our boy to the nursery for routine medical attention and this was to last three to four hours. Grandma and Grandpa headed home to make their calls and we prepared to move to a new room.

It was at that point we experienced a different kind of surreal moment. I made a few calls and sent a few texts and when I was done the room was empty again (side note - it was at this time that I received a shocking phone call - nothing to do with this story - but that is a story for another blog this week). It was as if nothing had ever happened. The two of us were sitting there by ourselves, just as we had been nine months earlier. It was almost like that moment that you had as a child after you unwrapped all of your Christmas presents. The excitement had come and gone. Of course, this was different because in the big picture the excitement had just begun. It was just an odd moment.

It was hard leaving Rebecca and the baby that night but I had to go home and get some sleep. I had been up about 40 hours straight. My sleep that night was unreal. It was almost like the kind of sleep that you get when you are put under for an operation. I woke up after ten hours of sleep and it seemed like my head had hit the pillow just moments before.

All in all, it was an amazing day. It wasn't quite what I expected and I can't really place my finger on why that is. I think some of it has to do with the way it is portrayed on tv and in the movies. Truth be told, I really thought that I would be bawling when it was over (Rebecca admitted the same later).

I'll have more on our experiences when we brought him home in my next blog.

And for the record, Bonanza was on the tube when Jack was born. Good enough, I suppose.