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    2011 Movie Reviews
       posted on 04/02/2012
    What Hitch Taught Me
       posted on 12/16/2011
    Disturbing Things That I Don't Want to Acknowledge
       posted on 11/14/2011
    Minivans, News and More Proof That I Am a Jackass
       posted on 10/28/2011
    The Danger in Thinking that Everything Happens for a Reason
       posted on 10/04/2011
    Reactions to News of Twin Sightings
       posted on 09/23/2011
    The Intersection of Joy and Fear
       posted on 09/15/2011

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    Streaming Media
       04/14/2012 by friday
    The Intersection of Joy and Fear
       09/20/2011 by Long Lost Aunt Sandy
    The Intersection of Joy and Fear
       09/16/2011 by muchgooder
    The Intersection of Joy and Fear
       09/15/2011 by Bob
    Religulous
       09/14/2011 by muchgooder
    Religulous
       09/08/2011 by Bob
    Thoughts on One Year of Fatherhood
       08/31/2011 by Amy

    Minivans, News and More Proof That I Am a Jackass


    Created on Friday, October 28, 2011        Bookmark and Share

    Home    Blog    2011    October


    As you may know, we recently found out that we are expecting twins. This has caused us to reconsider everything from our finances to strollers to work schedules. It also necessitated us to start looking at minivans. For some reason this one hit kind of close to home with me. When I was a kid I really looked up to my uncle. He was very young at heart and he seemed like a really cool guy (he later turned into a real dbag and was among the first in my former family to tell me not to call him only to have the other say the same thing to him later on. I don't believe in karma, but.....). Anyway, I remember him having a hard time when he had to give up his little sports car for one of the original Chrysler 4 cylinders minivans. It crushed him.

    Over the course of the past week I had been making lots of jokes about the end of my manhood. I strive to always be honest with myself (as Dylan said, don't cheat on yourself) and I have to admit that I was really only half-joking. I just didn't want to become another suburban piece of garbage that socializes with all of the other parents on play dates. Maybe that is unfair, I don't know. I guess I'll find out.

    So I had started the process of researching minivans. I'm usually not one to classify people into groups but car salesmen are liars and I loathe dealing with them. I had done most of my research and negotiation through email (I really am an anti-social prick sometimes) but I had to go into the dealership to get Rebecca's car (the Memphis Belle) appraised. I also thought that I might actually drive the car, but if I am still being honest with myself there was a 50-50 chance that I wouldn't have bought it without driving it.

    About fifteen minutes into my visit to the dealer my phone rings. It is Rebecca and something is very wrong. She needed to go to the hospital ASAP.

    I was 40 minutes away into the (dreaded) southtowns and facing rush hour traffic. I sped home just as fast I could and I had a ton of time to think. It was at that moment I realized (yet again) that I am a complete jackass.

    For those of you that are not familiar with our story, we spent significant time and expense trying to get pregnant. We are both extremely thankful that we had a son but for some reason I lost sight of that. I went from being desperate to be a parent to an unappreciative a-hole.

    As I drove home a myriad of thoughts crossed my mind. The minivan was not symbolic of my loss of manhood. It was symbolic of dreams coming true. How could I have missed this? I mean, really.... I was (and still am) completely disgusted with myself. I started having fantasies (maybe more like a form of penance) that the best case scenario would be Rebecca being put on bed rest and me lifting our family up in the interim. I would work my ass off to do everything that needed to be done. All I wanted was a chance for things to still work out. In some weird kind of way I felt like Bill Murray at the end of Scrooged when he saw the visions of himself in the burning casket. I get it now. I just wanted a chance. This minivan had become a symbol to all of things that I hoped for coming true. Not having the minivan meant disaster.

    So........


    Click here for the rest of the story:





    I know this may seem to be a strange place for this thought but when terrible things happen I often wonder what religious people think when proverbial doo hits the fan. Never mind my own situation, what really struck me was the pain and suffering that we witnessed in the ER. You wouldn't wish this on your worst enemy but you've been sold a bill of goods that says he loves you. I've seen holy men talk about this point and all they can say is that all of the wrongs will be righted in the next life. If you believe this you really need to examine why you believe what you believe. I know, I know - it is much more... comfortable... to read the cutesy things attributed to the Jesus chartacter rather than trying to connect the dots. Please come join us in the adult world.

    More in OCTOBER   The Danger in Thinking that Everything Happens for a Reason

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