Schlong Pumps - Who Knew?

Lets see, how to start this blog...

First, I know I'm going to take some teasing for this one but I'm up for it. Let the games begin.

I was listening to one of my favorite shows the other day and somehow they got around to the topic of pumps for your pecker. Like me, the hosts thought that these things were only used for male enhancement. I'm thinking that this might be the most elusive answer to any question. After all, even if you knew it you can't admit that you knew it.

It turns out that these pumps can also be used aid in the...um.... ability?... of your member to stand at attention. They got a doctor on the phone and he said that it works by sucking the air out of the canister so that blood flows to the... area... in the canister. I guess it has the same kind of effect as a ring that a man might wear, although not quite as effective.

I guess that begs the question - wouldn't you rather just get a ring? The whole thing seems kind of... weird. I mean really, how would this work in real life? You're just about at that moment where the clothes are flying off and you have to run to the closet to get your hoover? And what if it actually did work? I just picture a guy tossing aside the pump and getting down to business before the... um... ship sails. It must be like trying to tie a balloon before all of the air runs out (there is a joke in there about stuff running out but I couldn't quite work it out).

Anyway, I thought I would share my findings with the general public. Comment as you will.

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Sunday was a first for us

In some circles my wife is known as "Becky" and in others she is known as "Rebecca". On sunday we crossed the streams (don't ever cross the streams, Ray) and we had mixed company. I've found that my brain has always known which name to call her without me having to think about it. I think it is kind of like how it was when you were a kid and your brain just knew to shut off the swearing part of your melon when you were around your parents.

And it finally happened - I was sitting at a table with the warring factions and I got around to mentioning her by name. For a second I stopped and I had to reboot the computer to get back on track.

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Need (more) proof that astrology is bunk?

A couple of centuries ago they adjusted the calendar to account for various miscalculations that were made over the centuries (side note: how come the ancient Egyptians could figure this sh** out but years later we lost all that knowledge. Oh yes, I know the answer - science was eradicted). The calendar actually jump several days. Thus, a Scorpio today wasn't necessarily a Scorpio three hundred years ago.

(not that there is an ounce of proof that there is anything to astrology anyway)