One of My Shining Moments During Our Courtship

This one is going to hurt more than a little bit.

(and yes, I realize that nobody has used the word "courtship" in thirty years).

As you may know, I have the emotional capacity of a toaster so I wasn't always the easiest person to date. I've always had a difficult time with emotions (some say because I don't have any) so this often resulted in relationships that didn't last for too long. This makes my wife's magic all that more impressive.

But as you may have guessed, she didn't have it easy either. As our lord as my witness, I had completely forgotten this part of our relationship until she mentioned it a couple of weeks ago. I really do think that I had blocked it out of my mind because I get the douche chills just thinking about it.

I'm not sure exactly how it started but at some point I started to get closer to using the "L" word. My baby step in that direction was to use the word "moo" instead.

(whew, it is getting uncomfortable in here)

That's right - I would say things like "I moo you" or "I have moo for you" or just plain "moo".

Ugh... how did I get to a place where I said those things? What a fairy I was. If Rebecca was less of a person she would have either laughed in my face or slapped me in the face for being a dummy.

I deserve all of the abuse that I get in the comments area.

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The age of consent in Utah is 16 for hetero s** but 18 for the "other" kind. Don't ask me how I know this. More on that in tomorrow's blog.

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When I got home last night from little league (insert your little league jokes below) it was about 8 p.m. and I thought I would take a dip in the pool that nobody uses. The answer to the question of at what temperature will I not act like a little girl while getting into the pool is 84 degrees.

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This is a hilarious short clip from Bill Maher's new HBO special. He did this bit in Buffalo and I damn hear made a mess in my pants. He reads from Rick Warren's book about finding a purposeful life. Regardless of how you see things, anyone that knows for sure how this stuff works is a liar.

The reading from Sarah Palin's book was just as funny but I can't find it.