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    Nostalgia Kegerator
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    The Intersection of Joy and Fear
       09/20/2011 by Long Lost Aunt Sandy
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       09/16/2011 by muchgooder
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       09/15/2011 by Bob
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    A Pillage the Pirate Won't Be Attending


    Created on Monday, July 26, 2010        Bookmark and Share

    Home    Blog    2010    July


    (disclaimer: I know this topic makes some people queasy so please skip this blog if you think you might be offended. I try to leave this stuff for the other blog these days but this one factored into "regular" life).

    We're now about a month away from the arrival of our baby boy, aka "The Pirate", aka... sorry, can't tell you. One of the questions that we get asked the most is how we are going to treat religion. As you probably know, Rebecca's parents are moderately/very religious (although extremely, extremely respectful of the beliefs of others) while I am an atheist and Rebecca is somewhere in the middle. Sounds like a recipe for an issue? Maybe not.

    Rebecca and I have talked about this for a while and I think we have a pretty good plan. We're pretty much on the same page with this, I think, but I am putting this in my own words so I will say "I" and not necessarily "we". My desire to not have superstition in our child's life is strong and Rebecca is ... well, that's between us.

    I have a couple of things that I think are fundamental to raising a child. The first is that you must always think for yourself. Another is that you should always seek truths no matter how difficult or uncomfortable those truths might make you. A third is never lie to yourself. Always feel like you can look yourself in the mirror.

    Contrary to what you may think, I have no desire to paint religion in a bad light in front of my child. I think the key to reaching the ideals described in the previous paragraph is to be an example of the kind of person that I hope he becomes rather than a "do as I say, not as I do". I certainly have my beliefs but there is no reason to pollute his truth-seeking mind by injecting my own opinions.

    So what does this mean? It means that religion will get the same treatment of anything else that can't be proven or his flat out irrational.

    "Religion is something that some people believe. There is absolutely zero proof that any of it ever happened and no reason to believe that any one of them have an ounce of validity to them".

    And then we move on. The subject isn't dwelled on and my kid is no different than any kid. I refuse to tell my kid something that I can't possibly verify is true. In my mind, it is child abuse to subject kids to these kinds of cult-like activities as a child. Sit, stand, kneel, chant, lecture, repeat. One area that was a bit of contention was the holidays. I'm sure at some point grandma will want to take the boy to church. We pretty much agreed that this is fine when he is a baby but not once the boy is old enough to have some semblance of what is going on.

    I know what some of you are thinking right now - how is he going to feel when other kids are going to church on sunday? My guess is pretty damn good. Rather than having listening to a man talk about things he can't possibly know are true (yet speaks as if he has a divine knowledge that is not available to the rest of us), he can spend time at home having breakfast with his family (wifey makes some killer pancakes with fruit on top of them). I mean, really... who liked going to church as a child? Who wants to get up early to hear how they are born dirty and will always be dirty? Or worse, all of the watered-down (and prettied-up) Old Testament stories. I'd rather tell my kid that he should try his hardest to love people (but not be compelled to pretend to love people) over a big plate of flapjacks any day. It isn't divine wisdom - I learned all of these simple life lessons in kindergarten.

    Actually, we do have a plan for Sundays. When the kids(s) are a little older we are going to spend a little bit of each Sunday talking about the great minds and artists. There are so many great works to admire and so many great philosophies to explore. And no, it isn't an substitute for religion. The goal in this is not just to expose the boy to important things like critical thinking and art appreciation. My hope is that one day he'll look back and appreciate the fact that we spent Sundays together in a worthwhile fashion and not being told that everything will be alright if you just stop thinking and do what the man says. I can't think of a better advantage to a new life than that one.

    The other question I often get is "what if he finds religion later in life?". As long as he does it with his head and heart in the right place, that's great. Truth be told, I'm not worried about it. Nobody finds religion unless they are brainwashed as a child or vulnerable (addiction, incarceration, etc) as an adult.

    When Your Ex-Girlfriend and Your Old Band Meet   More in JULY   Political Correctness Strikes Again

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