Scenes from Death

(A quick note on this one. I recently lost a family member and this blog is a summary of my experiences over the last week. It is not a eulogy and I wish that you not leave your condolences here. I thank you for understanding).

I've had a recent run-in with both religion and death. You may find this hard to believe but I've only been to a couple of funerals in my life and I had never been in the presence of someone that was about to die. This is also my first funeral since putting in the time to do my homework and realize that I was in fact an atheist and not agnostic or Catholic (which for most people are the same thing).

- If you've ever been in the room with someone that is about to pass you know how much it sucks. I mean it really sucks. I think it is inhumane to not be able to give someone something that will end their pain and end this life. Who won't let it happen? Religion, of course.

If you need more proof that there isn't a God (or a humane one, anyway) spend some time in the room with a person while they are having their last gasps in this life. A humane entity would put an end to their suffering (then again, a humane entity wouldn't let half the world starve). The amazing thing is that the faithful sat around saying "God must not want her yet". And when it ended they all thanked God for taking her. Once again, God gets all the credit and never any blame. I know, his will is not always known to us. I'm sorry, that is garbage.

- The funeral. Is there anything that diminishes a life more than a Christian funeral? Our aunt dedicated her life to serving the poor and black Americans. I think something more than a 60 minute commercial for the church would have been appropriate. I've always found the "you need to live frugally like Jesus - give us more money" speech is that it is made in a fancy building (always the most expensive building in any town) filled with stained glass windows by men who haven't worked a day in their lives. The Catholic church is estimated to be sitting on 50 billion in cash.

- Miracles. The problem with religion is that they are all based on the idea of miracles. As there is no proof that any of their claims ever happened, the faithful have to rely on modern-day miracles so that they can feel better about their beliefs.

The claims of miracles started only a couple of hours after her death. A member of the family had been up for a position against another candidate. He got a call that afternoon saying that he had been accepted. During my aunt's funeral this fact was brought up as a "miracle" and many people gasped out loud when the story was told during the eulogy. Of course, there was no miracle. The call was expected as an application had been filed. Also, wouldn't this miracle mean that your supernatural advocate worked a miracle at the expense of someone else and their supernatural advocate?

It gets worse. The sun came out the day of the funeral and everyone exulted that my aunt had been working some magic in the sky above (never mind that the weather forecast said it would be sunny). One sister claimed that my aunt had moved her bookmark to a part of the bible that most resembled her beliefs. I'm not sure what that could have been - she was a nun so you would think that all of the scriptures would be applicable.

I know, I know - people just want to feel better. I get that. But what gets me about all of this miracle talk (and the funeral) is that it cheapens the memory of my aunt. She worked tirelessly to help those less fortunate. I can guarantee you that if she could affect life here on earth that she would be getting a sandwich for someone that could not afford one and not manipulating a bible so that someone could say nice things about her.

- Prayer. I've never been in the presence of so many religious people in my life. As you might expect the constant mention of the goodness of God and the chanting made me see religion in a light that I had never seen it in before. But what really got me is the absolute wasted time that so many spent praying.

At the end of the day, what is prayer? It is more or less begging. Begging for the big kahuna to change his mind, or to give you something that you didn't have yet. Why is this necessary? Are you trying to change his mind? Or sway his mind? If that was even possible, what does that say about him? "Well, I wasn't going to heal your cancer, but now that you've gotten this prayer group going.....". Is this what we have become? Hoping that a supreme being won't always treat us like second-class citizens?

Worse, buildings are erected in communities to house people that are meant to pray a lot. Better yet, they'll help you pray and collect your money in the name of praising the almighty. A bit of that money will go toward the poor (often in foreign countries where the church just happens to be expanding) but most goes towards...well, running the church. And for some reason people are commended for spending their life doing this when they could have actually been out in the community (like my aunt was) making a difference. You'll never hear the same praise of a social worker or a cook in a soup kitchen. People were amazed that six priests showed up at the funeral. What a waste.

Never has the following quote ever been more true:

"A pair of hands working together will accomplish more than a thousand pairs clasped in prayer".

Amen to that.